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Office Drone Hive 2015

Consider Frustoconical Ladders

Spoon
Hunterbob wrote:
Fork wrote:
This week I'm the boss, as all 4 bosses are away until Friday.

So all the bosses can be out of the office at once, but you can't take hour lunches or take them together?

#burnitdown

Wastey
Fun wrote:
I think I'd happy work 8-6 Mon-Thursday if it meant not working Fridays.

Although I'm not sure how much I'd love that in practice.


I was working 4 days 12 hours a day and then 4 days off for a couple of years. During that time once for 2 weeks I had to work a normal mon-fri 7-3:30 and it was fucking glorious.

I think it's abit of case of being sunny on the other side
Hunterbob
Wastey wrote:
Fun wrote:
I think I'd happy work 8-6 Mon-Thursday if it meant not working Fridays.

Although I'm not sure how much I'd love that in practice.


I was working 4 days 12 hours a day and then 4 days off for a couple of years. During that time once for 2 weeks I had to work a normal mon-fri 7-3:30 and it was fucking glorious.

I think it's abit of case of being sunny on the other side

I imagine a lot of it would have to come down to the client side, too. I wouldn't be able to effectively do four 10 hour days, as the client still needs delivery dates met on Friday and the workload would be skewed.

Just need that job that allows it. Or win it big in the lottery and fuck it all off.
Fork
Hunterbob wrote:
Fork wrote:
This week I'm the boss, as all 4 bosses are away until Friday.

So all the bosses can be out of the office at once, but you can't take hour lunches or take them together?

#burnitdown

Indeed. The double standards are staggering.
hekate
My minion resigned last week.
The workload will get lighter for a few months so my boss is keen to hold off hiring a replacement until August or September. Not sure how this will go as I'll be going from 8 people days to 3 people days of work per week. My boss reckons she'll act as my assistant though so will see how it goes. Thankfully there are about 8 books going to print before my minion leaves and to her credit she's working her butt off to finish things and get stuff as far along as possible before she leaves in a few weeks.
Docilus
I keep starting this post, only to delete it and start over. I'm on my third try. Now I'm just too tired to get it right.
Fuck it.

All kinds of things happening at work atm. One guard has given notice to leave. He's doing a pre-apprenticeship training thing during the week (plumbing), and is only available to work weekends. So my normal shift cycle is all out of whack to accommodate this. I'm happy for him, and hope all the best, but I'm just tired. We should be getting a new replacement officer soon, but no time frame on that.
Another guard is being moved on, for no real apparent reason. Some bullshit about being too familiar with the site. If over-familiarity was an actual move on able reason, I should have been fired 2 weeks into the job. It is a genuine concern; he was my shift supervisor, I get along with him fine. His duties will now fall to me. Yay, extra work for no extra pay... We believe it is because he was pushing for pay rate changes to an up-coming tender for the police. They keep advertising the job as security level 1, but the work we actually do is security lvl 3. The cops aren't very interested in the legality of the process, only in that the place is guarded.
He resigned this afternoon, retirement to start forthwith.
On top of all this, I've been asked to again sign my workplace agreement from 2009. I was never happy with the pay rates I signed for back then, and nothing has changed in it now. Aside from increase due to cost of living, I'm still being paid security level 1 flat rate. No night shift loading, no public holiday loadings, not sick leave or paid entitlements. No paid meal breaks, over a 12 hour shift. I'm pretty unhappy. I've contacted the union, but as I'm just one guy I'm not expecting any advice in a timely fashion. Really not sure how to proceed; I can't afford to lose this job, but I don't like being screwed over either.
Fun
That's bullshit and you're being exploited.

That being said, if you can't afford to lose the job just grit, bear it, and start looking for alternative work immediately. You are going to have to drive the change in your life/employment, and you deserve better than that bullshit.

On your way out try and fuck them over as much as you can. Make yourself invaluable in an operational sense, and then just fuck off.

Fuck the cunts.
Hunterbob
Fun wrote:
That's bullshit and you're being exploited.

That being said, if you can't afford to lose the job just grit, bear it, and start looking for alternative work immediately. You are going to have to drive the change in your life/employment, and you deserve better than that bullshit.

On your way out try and fuck them over as much as you can. Make yourself invaluable in an operational sense, and then just fuck off.

Fuck the cunts.

I can't offer better advice than this and totally agree.
Matey
You're in a tight spot that a lot of employees face Doc. Being fucked over but continuing to bend over is usually the result of stagnation and the fear to losing your job and having to start over with another company - or downright being unemployed (which for most of us is a very scary thought). On top of that, although you are definitely worth more than you are receiving it seems like if you were to approach your employer they would simply sack you and find another lacky that will be happy to bend over and take your place with no complaints. Another issue is that if you were to ask for a raise/what you're actually worth AND then got sacked there is the possibility that your referral would be fucked for your next job (potential employer calls former employer, former employer says your shit).

Ultimately the decision is yours. Is moving on from that job worth the hassle? Or is your comfortable job worth keeping? Are your work skills and experience at a level high enough for you to obtain another job immediately? Would you be up to the challenge of having a less cosy job?

My current employer has had several claims against him and has had to back pay thousands of dollars to employees that he underpaid. Perhaps that's another option? Call Fair Work and find out the pay that you should have been making this whole time. Might be a nice pay day.
cailo-
Yea Doc it stinks to be bent over and fucked when you are only getting paid to be fucked, thats rape. I mean, where does it stop, will you have to suck their cock too? I suggest you cum in their face and make them your bitch, see how it makes them feel. Its all about being dominant.
Darkshaunz
cailo- wrote:
Yea Doc it stinks to be bent over and fucked when you are only getting paid to be fucked, thats rape. I mean, where does it stop, will you have to suck their cock too? I suggest you cum in their face and make them your bitch, see how it makes them feel. Its all about being dominant.


Holy fuck, please share the porn clip you had playing on the other tab as you wrote that post.
Darkshaunz
Things that happened on my company's teambuilding day

Couple of weeks ago, I had a day of teambuilding. Teambuilding in a corporate sense is when you are split up from your own department and then mixed in with people from other departments that you don't really give a shit about. Awkwardly, I've had some stern words with some of these people from other departments because being in operations means that everyone is always asking you for fucking stuff that you probably don't have (which makes me angry). I am told that this is necessary to unite everyone in the organization to a singular goal and inject a sense of empathy towards other members of your "greater team". Needless to say, I was entirely thrilled to be doing this as work continued to pile on at my workstation.

Anyway, I had the privilege of being a squad leader of my team, and we were pitted against five other teams from the company.

Exercise 1

We had to go to the water to look for plaques with "team sayings" that were stuck to the shallow pool floor, memorize the plates and then recite it to the facilitator. This was pretty simple, except when my team members found a plaque and tried to read it, other members in the pool walking around like Kaijus stirred up the water so much that we couldn't read a sentence without the ripples from ten thousand miles away obscuring our vision. My squad also yelled out, "WE FOUND IT", which is like tripping a car alarm in Left 4 Dead - and the legions of undead came forth from the void to overwhelm us. My team found like 4 plaques and we did a good job delegating the recital, I was proud of them. Until we found out about one crazy mutant person with three brains that solo'd three plaque recitals by herself, making no errors in the process. What the fuck, I wanted to throw a balloon full of sand in her face, it made me so frustrated.

Exercise 2

Okay for this one, squad leaders are blindfolded and then they have to run from the fake beachfront with a small bucket in hand, fill it up with water, then run to a tube and pour water into it. Inside that tube is a small floatie that would pop up once the tube is filled with water. Team members had to guide the person without touching them, so this involved a lot of yelling and vague/general instructions. I experienced what it was like to be a blind person which apparently made 9 other human beings very angry. Fearing for my life, and the horrific thought that I'd never be able to see my 2D Waifu again, I began the process of scooping up water and running in the directions that were being yelled. Unfortunately, the spacing of the three teams meant that the 3 blind mice were running to the wrong pipe and/or smashing into each other like stupid assholes. This was basically being in a Vietnamese wet market, without having to go there.

SQUAD: SHAUN LEFT! LEFT!
Goes Left
SQUAD: OMG, RIGHT! YOUR RIGHT!
Goes Right
IN THE DISTANCE: WRONG TUBE SHAUNZ (MY ACTUAL SQUAD)
Gets Angry

This was really difficult, because my body was basically saying, "What the fuck? you asshole, your eyes are working - use them". My brain wasn't saying anything because it was still mad that it couldn't match the ability of that one chick that could remember 3 plaques by herself. Anyway, I eventually found the right tube to pour the water in, and as I did my fourth or fifty scoopy run - I noticed that my bucket was getting heavier. I learned that my bucket at this point, consisted of 70% sand and 30% water - and to be honest, I didn't give a fuck and just poured in the sand anyway. On my seventh run, I ran into another team leader - who is an awesome dude by the way, but he was built like a Machamp. So when I ran into him, I felt like a baby seal that crashed into a jagged cliff-face made out of titanium. He later told me that he did feel something stub his feet slightly. Okay, cool.

Apparently all three teams did abysmally and the exercise ended because of overtime, also because the facilitators needed to get around 2 kilos of sand out of my tube.

Exercise 3

This was a balancing challenge, everyone had to balance a bottle of water on a canvas sheet and get it to the finish line. My squad was awesome and we beat everyone by a mile. I spent the next 15 minutes talking to one of the managers (also a team leader), and telling her that her squad should probably do a better job with this exercise, because her team was dead last. Unfortunately, this wasn't the sexiest thing to say to a lady, and I got the impression that I shouldn't be standing in Team 3's square anymore.


Exercise 4

The final challenge was a treasure hunt, and we had a different facilitator. All you need to know is that this guy already angered me before the exercise even began.

FACILITATOR: YOU KNOW ALL THE SHIT YOU GUYS JUST DID?
FACILITATOR: NONE OF THOSE EVEN COME CLOSE IN POINTS TO MY ACTIVITY - THE TREASURE HUNT!

After running around, scooping sand and shit-talking other team leaders, I felt like a battered pillow and had this general thousand-yard stare plastered on my face. I was handed a checklist of stuff I was meant to get, and I was so tired at this point that I just told my squad to do whatever the hell they wanted. Anyway, I decided I should at least "try" and get some of the trivia questions answered. We had 30 minutes to get as many questions and items on the hunt list ready for hand-in. One of the questions was, "How many panthers are there in the animal exhibit?". It was at this moment that I realized that this waterpark had goddamned lions, panthers and porcupines on display, in case 100-foot water tornadoes were not enough to entertain the Roman citizens that hounded this modern-day Colosseum.

As luck would have it, the animal exhibit was a 10 minute jog away from our starting point. So it meant that it would take me 20 minutes of jogging to find out how many panthers are there in a Malaysian waterpark, fucking zero I hope. Remember that manager from Exercise 3 who was a rival team leader? Turns out she had a map prepared for this exercise, and so in the spirit of friendship - asked her where the animal exhibit was (I overheard her saying that she needed to go there). She refused to show me and just told me to go away, so I just asked two of my squad members to follow me, and I just followed her team of 10 people to the exhibit. This really annoyed her, not just because I was following behind her caterpillar-line of team members, but because I was nearly running out of breath from laughing like a hyena. The absolute best part? she tried RUNNING, and then got tired after 2 minutes.

So I get to the animal exhibit, and they had peacocks and other big land-birds just walking around alongside visitors. I had to do a double take to make sure a Saudi Oil Baron wasn't visiting with his mobile exhibit of exotic pet birds. Did they just figure, "Well oops, we had the budget to import peacocks - but not their cages, oh well!"? I ran up the bird habitat, hoping I wouldn't step on peacock shit or rogue shards of glass because I was barefoot at this point in time (I wasn't allowed to wear my sneakers for the exercises). I found the big cat exhibit, and saw one lone panther circling around really menacingly. Admittedly, I enjoyed this - because panthers are awesome, and it made the 10 minute jog sort of worth it. I told my squadmembers, "Okay write one on the question and we've done our part". The 3 of us jogged back to hand in our one question on a list of 50 bullshit things we had to do.

When we got back to HQ, I found one of my sneakers in a bucket. Apparently one of list items was a Size 10 shoe. I told my squad members that they just threw one of my shoes into a bucket, and also more importantly - that I wasn't a Giant from Middle-Earth. They said that it was okay because I was the squad leader, and with logic like that, who am I to fucking question them?

At the end of scoring, my squad didn't even place in the top 3 anyway. Still though, I told my group members that they did amazing things today. I reminded them that: They ran around really fast, said stuff and got tired - which was really productive in the end. Neat.
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