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Office Drone Hive 2015

Consider Frustoconical Ladders

Spoon
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The First Brood Hive: Over 500 pages of Drone Hiving
(There be gems in here. Beware - the ancient site be large and unruly!)

The Second Brood Hive: 198 pages of eternal agony

The Third Brood Hive: 56 pages of mind bending torture

The Forth Brood Hive: 67 pages of unending suffering


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Twelvians at work.



Introduction

Firstly, a warm welcome to all the new Twelvians that have recently signed up to join our loving community. This is the Drone Hive, where all employed persons (regardless of their station) are encouraged to share their stories, mundane updates, daily drudgery and other psychobabble from their working life. In this thread, all Drones are recognized as being equal in their sharing of soul shattering stories and tales of torment. It is my hope that this thread will alleviate and soothe the pandemonium that all participants of the rat-race inevitably face every working day.

I urge you to sign up to the drone roster (check the format below) - and join the mindless ranks of crystal-harvesting Drones!

There is pretty much only one rule for this thread: Keep the pictures/links Safe for Work.

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Hive Drone Roster (11 Drones and counting)
"Uniting all Twelvian Hive Clusters"

Darkshaunz
of Hive Malazer
Hive Specialisation: Proposals, reports, admin support & operational bullshit
Actual Title: Senior Operations Executive

Fork
of Same Fucking Company
Hive Specialisation: Quelling riots, putting retards in their place and looking out the window
Actual Title: iOS Programmer, DB Manager, Tier 3 Support

Hanlol
of Hive SNP
Hive Specialisation: Vamperising people.
Actual Title: Phlebotomist

Hekate
of Hive University Press
Hive Specialisation: editing stuff, checking ePub files, managing freelance drones
Actual Title: Managing Editor, Academic & Professional

Hunterbob
of Hive Tower Erections
Hive Specialisation: Making sure other people changed the right shit
Actual Title: Design Admin and Support

Jiminy
of Hive German Diesel Powerhouse
Hive Specialisation: Stopping retards from breaking expensive things
Actual Title: National Electronics Training Manager

Kiral
of Hive Faster Internets
Hive Specialisation: Everything marketing related.
Actual Title: Digital Marketing Lead

Remedial
of Hive SAS
Hive Specialisation: Helping government places to collect all your information and use it to judge you.
Actual Title: Technical Consultant

Spoon
of Hive Internet Thing Selling
Hive Specialization: Keeping idiots in check
Actual title: Lead Developer | Senior Manager

Wastey 
of Hive holy shit that oil price
Hive Specialisation: Reaping coal of its gas, doing anything but what im getting paid for
Actual Title: Electrical/Instrumentation Start up Tech

Willy
of Hive raping the earth
Hive Specialisation: Earthrape equipment performance
Actual Title: Maintenance Analysis & Improvement Superintendent


Formatting Code for the Roster
(If you are a new Drone, please reply to this thread using the following code)

[size=130][b]Forum username[/b][/size]
[i]of Hive (Your company name here)[/i]
[b]Hive Specialisation:[/b] (Your day to day job task)
[b]Actual Title:[/b] (Your job title, or what your namecard says you are)
Spoon
Well it seems we're back yet again for more drudgery so please everyone sign in as we do each year with the formatting above.

This year I look forward to bullshit and broken promises. What about you guys?
Fork
You bastard I was just about to hit post on my new thread, guess I'll post some of it here as a second introduction.


Greetings fellow hive drones,

This is a place for workers to find some comfort with drones in the same situation.

Be it a menial, high stress, monotonous or degrading job, we're here for you.

Tell us what you're up to at work, what you aspire to be, what every dickhead is doing wrong but you, or how you're enacting revenge to those who have wronged you.

Each year we hibernate, then shed our cocoon giving birth to a new thread.

A new thread for a new year with new goals, problems, aspirations, shattering realisations, and sometimes new jobs for the chosen few.



Fork
of Same Fucking Company
Hive Specialisation: Quelling riots, putting retards in their place and looking out the window
Actual Title: iOS Programmer, DB Manager, Tier 3 Support

This year I'm going to try change my mindset for this place. It isn't all that bad and things are getting better so I should try to embrace it.

I expect I'll get fucked in the ass a number of times like usual, but will just need to bend over and take it like a good little company bitch for another couple of years so I can take my long service leave.
Remedial
Great way to start droning, filling out internet forms.

Remedial
of Hive SAS
Hive Specialisation: Helping government places to collect all your information and use it to judge you.
Actual Title: Technical Consultant

This year i'm also expecting a lot of broken promises this year. So far for the last 4 months i've been told at every level everyone agrees with and has approved my promotion to Senior Technical Consultant, and that it's with the US for action or with HR for action. It's much harder to argue your case for promotion when everyone agrees, but the end result is i'm still not getting paid anymore and have no one to argue with and nothing to improve.
Darkshaunz
Darkshaunz
of Hive Malazer
Hive Specialisation: Proposals, reports, admin support & operational bullshit
Actual Title: Senior Operations Executive

This year: More work for the same amount of money, followed by more retarded goddamned clients and everyone blaming it on operations.

Also today is when my boss interviews me about my performance appraisal form I submitted last week. I hate appraisals.
kiral
Kiral
of Hive Faster Internets
Hive Specialisation: Everything marketing related.
Actual Title: Digital Marketing Lead

Can't believe holidays are over! It went by so fast :(
willy
Shaun, you have Executive in your title. Does that mean you have your own private jet or does your company throw the word executive around like a 25,000 Baht hooker on Bangalore street?
willy
Willy
of Hive raping the earth
Hive Specialisation: Earthrape equipment performance
Actual Title: Maintenance Analysis & Improvement Superintendent
Remedial
willy wrote:
Shaun, you have Executive in your title. Does that mean you have your own private jet or does your company throw the word executive around like a 25,000 Baht hooker on Bangalore street?

25000 Thai Baht equals 938.436 Australian Dollar

Also why would a Thai hooker be in India?
Darkshaunz
willy wrote:
Shaun, you have Executive in your title. Does that mean you have your own private jet or does your company throw the word executive around like a 25,000 Baht hooker on Bangalore street?


Yes, I have my own private jet. Thank you for asking.
Hunterbob
Hunterbob
of Hive Tower Erections
Hive Specialisation: Making sure other people changed the right shit
Actual Title: Design Admin and Support

This year: Will be a new horizon. Not sure what to expect in the long run, but opportunities are already presenting themselves to up skill. Maybe even in useful areas, who knows?

And the holidays sure did end quickly. Working is a huge contrast to smashing out days worth of GTAV and Fallout: New Vegas.
Jiminy
I don't think there is a hooker in Thailand that goes for 25,000 Baht. 1000-1500 is the going rate for short time boom boom unless you're an ugly cunt. So o.k, probably 25,000 Baht for you Willy.

Jiminy
of Hive German Diesel Powerhouse
Hive Specialisation: Stopping retards from breaking expensive things
Actual Title: National Electronics Training Manager

I'm also back today, but I'm leaving soon. It's only me and my boss in the office and the convo went something like this:

Boss: I'm going down to our other branch, do you need me to take anything there for you?

Me: Really? Are you coming back?

Boss: Yeh I'll only be a couple of hours...

Me: Because I don't want to hang around.

Boss: Why's that?

Me: Because I don't really feel like it.

Boss: Aww Diddums... Yeh I won't be long.

When he came back it went like this:

Me: When do you want to do that target review because I want to go to wet'n'wild tomorrow

Boss: I can't today I've got more meetings this arvo.

Me: o.k, before lunch tomorrow? I want to watch some of the Cricket before I go...


I'm going to ease into this year. It was a hectic end to last year and I don't feel like I had a holiday at all.
willy
Remedial wrote:
willy wrote:
Shaun, you have Executive in your title. Does that mean you have your own private jet or does your company throw the word executive around like a 25,000 Baht hooker on Bangalore street?

25000 Thai Baht equals 938.436 Australian Dollar

Also why would a Thai hooker be in India?


Thanks for conversion, would you throw a cheaper hooker around more or less? Personally I'd like to get my money's worth more from a grand than a casual $50 wristy.

As for your second point; I said street, not city. Its been a while and I didn't check when I did the op nor have I checked yet but I thought the main seedy strip in Phuket was Bangalore.

So yeah Rem, go fuck yourself.
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