Hi, I am glad you clicked on the latest reply button.
I have a short story to share, and I'd like for a lot of people to read it. Since this is currently the most followed, viewed and refreshed thread - this is a golden opportunity for me to get maximum exposure.
Viking in the Highlands
A few years ago, Fork, Spoon and Ralphie visited me here in Malaysia. We ended up in a place called Genting Highlands, which is a Casino Resort that some crazy rich person built in the clouds, to make more money (as rich people do). The trip itself was very memorable, beginning with a terrifying ascent to the resort level using a rickety cable car system on a very poor weather day. It was terrifying because on the morning of our ascent, it was very foggy and the whole area was shrouded in this thick cloudy mist. It looked like the whole world was reloading itself into a Silent Hill level. Remarking to the other three guys, I worriedly exclaimed, "I really don't want to die on the way to Silent Hill". Spoon on the other hand, loved the everliving shit out of the dreadmist, saying, "This shit is awesome". Fork was quite sleepy at this juncture, and Ralphie had his MLGPro camera taking pictures of the experience (ordeal). I told Ralphie, "Keep taking pictures, the authorities need to know that there were 4 dudes in this carriage that got mauled to death by a smoke monster". Everyone was generally relieved to have reached the cable car station in one piece, except Spoon - who looked genuinely disappointed that we were not killed by a smoke monster.
Anyway, a bunch of other shit happened there but I can't be fucked typing about it again because my firefox froze mid-wall of text. Yes, this is my second time typing all of this out and it feels like shit. It's the sensation of after you take this nice shower, and then suddenly you feel like you need to drop a deuce. It's kind of like, "Well we may as well hit the goddamn reset button on life, FUCK". Right okay, so the title of this short story is Viking on the Highlands, so Fork is the star of the show. Anyway, since this is Asia - it means there are seedy arcades everywhere, even hundreds of miles above sea level. Some of you are probably familiar with a game called Street Fighter, it's a game that is very much linked to Asian pop culture. For some reason, Asian people are generally expected to like rice, street fighter and anime. Which I find personally to be very offensive, but mainly because I love all of those things, but I don't necessarily want to reinforce the stereotype. What we don't tend associate with Street Fighter however, is Fork. We tend to associate Fork with things such as Valhalla, Odin, Midgard and Asgardian Ale. Probably also a love for boobs, preferably covered in ale.
As the four of us walked back from a day of rides in the 'amusement park', I noticed a couple of Street Fighter IV machines in the 'electronic entertainment zone'. As usual, the machine is occupied - so I paused to see how the current player is doing versing the AI. This subtle movement of standing just slightly off their field of view to watch their performance is something all Street Fighter enthusiasts do, to acknowledge to the other Street Fighter player that, "I am here watching you and judging your skill". Except this time, it was me and three other guys, so it looked like we were about to bash this guy (who was with his wife and kid) if he lost to Blanka or whatever. Suddenly, Fork says, "I wanna give that a go". For some reason, and I am not sure why - I replied, "Are you sure?". Like as if Fork just volunteered to bungee jump from space or something. I happily walked over to the counter to get a game card for the machine. It's not often you get to see a completely new Street Fighter play the game, mostly because the display will be one of comedic gold. It gets better though.
As Fork sat down on the small stool they provided to play some Road Fisticuffs, I happily swiped the gamecard on the reader. Then something happened that none of us expected, a loud voice announced on our game cabinet and the other guy's, "A NEW CHALLENGER HAS ENTERED!". The four of us looked at each other and then it hit me. "Oh shit guys, I think they networked this machine to the other one", I exclaimed to a slightly perplexed Fork. At this point Spoon and Ralphie joked that Fork was going to get decimated by this rather miffed looking Asian salaryman sitting on a cabinet away. It was at this critical moment that I realized what the fuck was actually happening. Here's a cranky looking thirty-something familyman showing his wife and daughter his street fighting chops, and now he was being challenged by a lumbering Viking lord in what was to be a clash of cultures. This was it, East meets West. Viking meets Samurai. Fork was sitting down to play some video games, but the guy he was fighting was now probably fighting for his fucking Bushido family honour or something.
Fork chose his character, which I think was Ryu and I can't remember what the other guy chose. To be honest, I thought Fork was going to ask for pointers or something, but he didn't. He just did his Fork thing in Street Fighter, which was apparently a lot of sudden jerking of the joystick and slamming on one, two or all six of the attack buttons of the cabinet. It was a movement filled with "aggressive" finesse, and much, much loud noises. The three of us looked on in horror, because Fork was so into it that we were afraid he was going to tear the cabinet into pieces, sort of like a bear grappling with another bear during feeding season. I was more horrified because Fork was actually winning, and he was winning by a lot. I looked over to the other guy and thought, "What the christ is happening over there!?". The thought occurred to me that the guy was probably used to fighting people that knew how to play Street Fighter, and that he was used to fighting people that had conventional attack patterns, and a flow. Fork on the other hand, certainly did have a flow - if you count a hundred foot Tsunami crashing into the game machine a flow of things. The guy was getting destroyed by Fork's completely unreasonable, unpredictable and illogical button mashing.
Fork won that Street Fighter game clean 2-0.
Fork cheered and we applauded the fact that he didn't completely wreck the street fighter cabinet (and get us arrested). The other guy stormed out of the arcade, his wife was saying something really loudly to her family and his daughter looked genuinely sad. That moment provided me with so much laughter, because it was only after I explained what actually happened to Fork that he understood what had transpired on that fateful Street Fighter day. Fork's total domination over some cranky Asian guy in Street Fighter in front of his family is truly one of my favourite video gaming stories. I don't think it's been told before, and I couldn't think of a better of a better place to post it.
Well that's not entirely true, but it's funnier to do it here.