I am currently the reigning Lord Commander of Struggle Town. I'm on day two of my hangover, my voice is hoarse, have random bruises all over my body, a sunburnt face and the arches of my feet feel like they're shattered and scream in pain every step that I take. Somehow I need to make it through the day at work, but I had a fucking wicked weekend at Groovin The Moo!
As I've gotten older I care less about the music and more about the good times and bonding that go along with festivals. This is our third or forth GTM in a row and each time it's been with great people and just had a fantastic atmosphere throughout.
I smuggled in half a litre of 80% hooch despite the police presence, bag searching, pat downs and shirt lifting at the front gate. The trick is to assess the situation and get in the line for the guy who doesn't give a single fuck about his job, avoiding the ones that go on power trips by touching your dick and confiscating your happy-juice. Going in the bags line without a bag and playing dumb by giving your ID/ticket to any security that looks at you sideways always helps too.
I was wearing my kickass purple dragon onesie which pretty much lets you get away with murder when stomping through crowds and pushing your way to the front, but also seems to get you a shit load of attention from people wanting to get a photo with Spyro *groan*. I had people jump-tackling and striking up conversations with me throughout the night too which was a different experience than people giving me a wide berth. We also had a giraffe and cow oneies in our group of ~13 people which made it a bit easier to find out of a crowd.
Some cunt also lifted by sunnies which made me furiously smash my fist into my recently bought nachos, spraying everyone around me with sour cream and melted cheese. Dragon suit probably saved my ass there as I just stormed off and cleaned up. Stacey found me some hippy-ass glasses on a drink fountain that I'm now wearing until I can buy some more Ray Bans duty free in a month. I'm not sure if I look like Elton John or Leon The Professional in them, but I don't really care either way.
Illy completely dominating his set with hit after hit around lunch time, but Dizzee Rascal had the entire festival busting out and singing along with his high-energy-and-chav-accent-man. BO BO BO BO BO BO BONKERS DAANANANANANANNANANANA. Goddamn. But it was Parkway Drive that destroyed me. I was in the middle of the mosh pit for the whole set, a huge hulking purple dinosaur flailing his limbs around like a goddamn crazy person. At the end of it I was drenched in sweat, doubled over and panting like a dog, feeling invigorated and with a renewed love for metal.
Saw Willy (the Twelvian, not the gentials) there too which was good to catch up, what were your highlights mate?
In about a month I'll be at Glastonbury in Europe which should be fucking amazing. The Full Lineup just got released with Metallica, Fatboy Slim, Massive Attack and a gajizzilion other acts.
What about you?
Been to any gigs or festivals lately?
Planning for any in the future?
Getting too old for this shit?
Goddamn kids and their doof doof music?