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Office Drone Hive 2014

BACK TO WORK FOOLS

Fork
I can sometimes do all three states of matter.

Good to see it only took up to page 2 to start talking about assholes and shit.
Bain
Bain
of Hive Castle Fortinet - the Commission
Hive Specialisation: Infrastructure Drone Overseer, General to the CIO.
Actual Title: Manager, ICT Infrastructure

Happy New Year drones! May this year be the year you kill your leaders and take over your own nest.
Malieus
Malieus
of Hive breaking your internet then fixing it for money
Aggravating Mock Support
Support Customer Service Representative

well I have been working at iinet for the last three months coming week or two. I will have made my monthly bonus every time it was available. So I am not too worried about passing my probation. To be honest I am just coasting along at the role, doing the minimum work to get by. The most frustrating thing about my job is being stuck in the quasi middle ground of being actually helpful to people and just a plain hindrance. That and the technologically illiterate who don't know how to access their modem or what an address bar is in a browser. ("it just tries to search for things on yahoo every time I try to go there".) That's a search field or a infection, either way you are to dumb to "compute" please kill yourself to improve the spawning pool. I am proactively terminating your services goodbye.
Shrewmkin
Malieus wrote:
Malieus
of Hive breaking your internet then fixing it for money
Aggravating Mock Support
Support Customer Service Representative

well I have been working at iinet for the last three months coming week or two. I will have made my monthly bonus every time it was available. So I am not too worried about passing my probation. To be honest I am just coasting along at the role, doing the minimum work to get by. The most frustrating thing about my job is being stuck in the quasi middle ground of being actually helpful to people and just a plain hindrance. That and the technologically illiterate who don't know how to access their modem or what an address bar is in a browser. ("it just tries to search for things on yahoo every time I try to go there".) That's a search field or a infection, either way you are to dumb to "compute" please kill yourself to improve the spawning pool. I am proactively terminating your services goodbye.


Image

Image

This is how your work sounds like Malieus /sympathy.
hekate
Is it home time yet?

Today I rocked in to my boss's office for our weekly 10am Tuesday meeting. She was very confused, it being Friday and not Tuesday *smacks head*.
I don't feel bad about my general lack of concentration and productivity because the few directors who are in the office this week are all complaining about the same problem. Unfortunately for me I'm checking a law book this afternoon, which requires an extra level of concentration I seem unable to find - not helped by the fact that I get hungry every hour or so, making me interrupt whatever I'm doing to go in search of food.

Malieus wrote:
The most frustrating thing about my job is being stuck in the quasi middle ground of being actually helpful to people and just a plain hindrance. That and the technologically illiterate who don't know how to access their modem or what an address bar is in a browser. ("it just tries to search for things on yahoo every time I try to go there".) That's a search field or a infection, either way you are to dumb to "compute" please kill yourself to improve the spawning pool. I am proactively terminating your services goodbye.


It's always amusing hearing Bain on the phone to Optus internet support - after that first half hour of being on hold, he finally gets to speak to someone who asks if the modem is connected to the computer etc … he gets increasingly frustrated before explaining that he knows more about IT than they do. The last time he called, because our internet wasn't working, he went through about 20 minutes of that before they told him they'd detected spam from one of our email accounts and suspended our internet for us :thumbleft:
Darkshaunz
hekate wrote:
It's always amusing hearing Bain on the phone to Optus internet support - after that first half hour of being on hold, he finally gets to speak to someone who asks if the modem is connected to the computer etc … he gets increasingly frustrated before explaining that he knows more about IT than they do. The last time he called, because our internet wasn't working, he went through about 20 minutes of that before they told him they'd detected spam from one of our email accounts and suspended our internet for us :thumbleft:


I worked as a CSR for a local ISP for 3 months, so I'd like to explain why things occur as they do in call centers:

1) There is a script that we had to perform, or else our team leader or QA took us aside to threatened to fire us.
2) Even though you have a report number from a previous call-in, we still needed to perform the annoying-as-shit verification procedures.
3) The script is literally the most rudimentary and hilarious troubleshooting "guide" (have you turned it off and on again?)
4) CSRs get limited control over what can be done remotely, at best, we can restart the node remotely - at worst, the actual physical node is fucked.
5) We got an amazingly bad script because as it turns out, most of the people that called us were extremely computer illiterate. Someone like Bain is in the 1-5% of callers.
6) Things are done to your account and connection without first informing you, because we know better and when you signed the contract - it states that we can do whatever (seriously).
7) If a CSR tells you that it's a virus, or there's unscheduled maintenance, and other reasons citing spyware - he or she has NFI what is happening.
8) Always request to be taken to a L2 (level 2) Tech Support or just escalate it to the CSR's TL (Team Leader). That way you will avoid the potential rookies. You have a right to do this as a customer.
9) Never threaten to terminate your account, we never gave a shit. For me, it was less one potential call in the future - my life gets easier!
10) Be nice to CSRs, they get a shitload of crap calls. Be the call that is courteous and patient - regardless of whether or not you are a goddamn PC/Net wizard. None of that matters because you need that CSR to help you solve a problem.

Glad I left that job.
Fork
I also need to ignore the craving for food every hour, as my stomach has definitely stretched and become accustomed to the excessive amount of everything I ate and drank over the break. It's going to be a painful week until it gets back into its non-indulgent size and the cravings stop =/

Suburb name of the day: Megalong (NSW)
hekate
Fork wrote:
I also need to ignore the craving for food every hour, as my stomach has definitely stretched and become accustomed to the excessive amount of everything I ate and drank over the break. It's going to be a painful week until it gets back into its non-indulgent size and the cravings stop =/


I wish that worked for me :/ I completely flake out an get dizzy if I don't eat now.
Spawn rewarded my gift of a vanilla Paddlepop for dessert last night with a couple of strong kicks/punches, which seemed a bit ungrateful! Right now I could go some chicken nuggets …
Fork
Oh bugger =/ I can usually quell them with a glass of water, or a coffee if it's real bad.

Goddamnit I want a vanilla Paddlepop real bad now! Surely you can't be mad if Spawn wants to learn kung fu a bit early though?
Malieus
Darkshaunz wrote:
hekate wrote:
It's always amusing hearing Bain on the phone to Optus internet support - after that first half hour of being on hold, he finally gets to speak to someone who asks if the modem is connected to the computer etc … he gets increasingly frustrated before explaining that he knows more about IT than they do. The last time he called, because our internet wasn't working, he went through about 20 minutes of that before they told him they'd detected spam from one of our email accounts and suspended our internet for us :thumbleft:


I worked as a CSR for a local ISP for 3 months, so I'd like to explain why things occur as they do in call centers:

1) There is a script that we had to perform, or else our team leader or QA took us aside to threatened to fire us.
2) Even though you have a report number from a previous call-in, we still needed to perform the annoying-as-shit verification procedures.
3) The script is literally the most rudimentary and hilarious troubleshooting "guide" (have you turned it off and on again?)
4) CSRs get limited control over what can be done remotely, at best, we can restart the node remotely - at worst, the actual physical node is fucked.
5) We got an amazingly bad script because as it turns out, most of the people that called us were extremely computer illiterate. Someone like Bain is in the 1-5% of callers.
6) Things are done to your account and connection without first informing you, because we know better and when you signed the contract - it states that we can do whatever (seriously).
7) If a CSR tells you that it's a virus, or there's unscheduled maintenance, and other reasons citing spyware - he or she has NFI what is happening.
8) Always request to be taken to a L2 (level 2) Tech Support or just escalate it to the CSR's TL (Team Leader). That way you will avoid the potential rookies. You have a right to do this as a customer.
9) Never threaten to terminate your account, we never gave a shit. For me, it was less one potential call in the future - my life gets easier!
10) Be nice to CSRs, they get a shitload of crap calls. Be the call that is courteous and patient - regardless of whether or not you are a goddamn PC/Net wizard. None of that matters because you need that CSR to help you solve a problem.

Glad I left that job.


I have less of a script and more of a checklist, do this that then this, now this doesn't work lodge fault, faults can do a little more remote voodoo, then we contact Telstra to send a tech out to drive to your house park in your driveway, not get out of the car (and knock on your door), eat their lunch , sit for another 15 minutes or 30 minutes if they are feeling particularly lazy. Then move on to their next job. Then tell us that it was a Incorrect Call out, so the customer now owes telstra $120 for the call out and $35 per minute.

But yes the biggest thing I find that should be mandatory on all PC's. Firefox or Chrome, A bookmark leading to the Router(or right click the network system tray and bring up the router.) , the inability to install more than 2 bar applications, because lady there is no such thing as "the shrinking internet", An the ability to initiate remote support with your ISP via the system tray.

Because More than 25% of callers don't know where the address bar is!
IE is really shit with having a ridiculous amount of UI changes in recent versions, and the computer illiterate people should be encouraged to use it so they have clean firefox/chrome installs.
That bookmark, you don't need an address bar we just need a click, even if it takes 45min I know we will get there eventually.

Remote Support system tray, for when the person on the other end doesn't know how to download a open a file in under 7 minutes (The file takes no more than 10secs to actually download).
Darkshaunz
Technicians were the most hopeless of the lot here as well.

The dispatch center never had any available techs, and when a node was shot - it was gg to the customer.

You know it's going to be a shit call when the customer already has a report number ready. You bring up the case file and it's clear that the previous handlers couldn't get a techie to flick a goddamned switch at the exchange.

So he or she is calling for the third time or more....and you get to explain why they had to wait for 45 minutes to get through to you, just for you to say that they now will get a fifth report number and try their luck with getting a dispatch in the next 72 hours.
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