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Jiminy
You better believe that 2 years exp is worth 10k/month these days. Plus, if any of that irresistible charm rubbed off his old boss onto him, he's probably worth 12k/month.

Hire immediately.
Spoon
I've been going through some more batches of [European] applications today and have found some truly strange things, as well as a fair amount of poor English.

Do not mind to consider the proposal on a permanent basis is not far from the metro (Kiev).


There is an opportunity to work removed.


Bazovye skills in Photoshop at the cutting layout.

One guy's name is "Corn".

Ready to quickly uchitsya.


Help me find a job …. I wish to be javascript


I want to work in a field that I like and that is your choice.


Just know that I'm a lot more and do not know how it gnaws at me. But I am able to learn quickly and do it effectively, the information 146%.


This guy listed these in his "achievements" (remember, this is a job application for a programming position):

1) "won dryscha":
last summer scored 21kg in 3 months (from June 20 to 63kg to 84kg by early September, with growth 180cm);

2) "Shook 120": bench press of 120kg on the chest 3 times in November 2012;

3) "Do not unglued": in December 2012 earned a break of the pectoralis muscle. After which he was forced to stop training for six months. A month ago, went back into the hall and started from scratch, slowly but surely;


Position: Head of Internet Development


Computer skills, software

Spoken shaman tambourine

???
Bain
Malieus wrote:
Ummmm, it looks like they have just written these in another language and relied on google or something to translate.

Hire this man! Stat!
Spoon
Just went through a few weeks worth that had stacked up and found some entertaining oddities:

goal

Making money love.

Is this some sort of Scrooge McDuck type deal?


After leaving the robot in zv'yazku s zakrittyam kiїvskogo ofіsu .

I think the robot attacked him after he left it?


Gave up after 2 years of study

Good to see this guy is dedicated


Knowledge and skills:
• extensive experience in the computer

I personally do most of my work from the outside of the computer, but I'm glad this guy is ready to get in there and have a go


I love programirovat be communicative.

Well you don't seem to be very good at it


Knowledge of the popular server operating system and users

I hear Shaun's a pretty popular user, wonder how much this guy knows about him


goal
- To bring benefits to the people and the country

I'm not really sure how being a communist applies to the job


Working in a good team , that's a team .

This redundant goal seems a bit redundant


I know where the "start" button , use with caution.
Sudo often tell of a bright future ms-dos, he 's out .

I think this might be some sort of google translated command-line poetry? I really have no idea otherwise


punctuality ;
punctuality , diligence ;
attentiveness, responsibility , poise .

This guy REALLY shows up on time and in a very elegant way


Development and refinement of sites participating in the inernet

All the good sites participate in the inernet these days


The main principle of life - " Slow and steady wins the race" .
Personal qualities: poise , responsibility, optimism .

This guy is very optimistic about his ability to get a job while promoting his lack of speed


Javascript - beginner, using now , 7 years of experience.

Responsible, hard-working , humble, fast learner

I think I'm going to have to disagree on that last one


Personal and professional qualities
- Communication
- the impact
- The ability to understand someone else's code
- stress

I like a candidate that has the impact, but not when they also flaunt their stress.
Spoon
I've just started looking through a new batch of resumes (unfortunately these ones are in Australia though, so there won't be as many confusing englishes) and the first one I opened had this:

D.O.B: 07/11/1994

My first thought was 'holy shit, this guy's ten?'

This time I am the fool.
Jiminy
Clownshoes wrote:
He included his date of birth in a job application so it's still pretty stupid.


Either that or your age is pretty standard info I thought.


*haven't applied for a job in forever though
Spoon
It's actually detrimental for older people (50+) to put their age on their resumes these days. I imagine for various areas the same applies to young people.

You can always figure it out based on their education / work history anyway though so it isn't really going to make too much of a difference. If someone wants to impose age based restrictions on job recruitment, they'll find a way.
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