Hello everyone, my name is Jiminy and I'm special. Aside from all the reasons you are now coming up with in your head for why I'm special I've recently discovered a new reason. I can prevent hangovers. Not "those really bad ones", but your average hangover. I've mentioned the difference before...
Jiminy wrote:While I agree with all of you on the fluid intake method, let me remind you that this thread is about hangovers. Not just your average hangovers but "those really bad ones"
Now, to get a "really bad hangover" you need to drink a lot and by a lot I mean you were probably drunk before you left the house due to the amount of pre-going out beers you had.
You probably followed that up with an event that involved unlimited booze. A 21st, a wedding or something like that. So already you're in a frame of mind that goes something like this: "I'm literally going to drink enough to shit myself".
Now you're not the only one in this frame of mind, in fact there is a good chance that everyone in attendance has turned up with a similar game plan... To suck down enough booze to kill a small elephant, because why the fuck not, it's free.
Considering you probably had more than 8 beers before even arriving at the event you only remember the first two after you got there. After that it's a blur, but you know one thing, you always had a drink in your hand and you didn't leave until you were forcibly removed.
You're reminded by your g/f the following day (if you survived the night) that that happened long after all the normal people had gone which was most likely after 2 am, but not before you sexually harassed the host's wife/mother and got caught helping yourself to the contents of their fridge. Of course you have no recollection of any of this..
It's usually at this point that you team up with whoever is left over and trust me they are there, the troopers such as yourself. You'll find them siphoning whatever free booze remains from the "do not touch" liquor cabinets of the home owners and being forcibly removed alongside you. Chances are you're good friends.
You grab these left over friends and convince them (which is easy) and their g/f's (which is hard) that the next logical step is for all of them to come back to your house because you have a 1.25L bottle of scotch, 28 cans of coke and two packets of Cheese and Onion chips.
Now if you have any recollection of the events after this point you're doing it wrong but suffice it to say that your house probably looks worse than the house the actual party was at in the morning. There is about .25L left in your scotch bottle, coke cans and glasses everywhere, empty cigarette packets and one of your friends is asleep in a corner with his hand still in a packet of Cheese and Onion chips. The other hand he's using as a pillow.
It's a god damn miracle, brought about in no small part by one's loving spouse, if you manage to wake up in a bed after a night like this, let alone in your own bed.
The probability of you having the foresight to drink anything other than more booze before you passed out is akin to the chances of a toothless bogan not misspelling their child's name.
There is no cure for the horrendous hangover this kind of behaviour preludes. After all, you likely woke up with your shoes still on.
The reason there is no cure for this ^ type of hangover is because you've gotten yourself to a level of intoxication that you believe you are some sort of reincarnation of jesus. You will pass out long before your incapacitated brain remembers to implement DEFCON 1 procedures. Sorry, you've already lost.
Ever since I've started getting horrible hangovers at about the age of 25 I've been trying to prevent them. There's been times where I've gotten a hangover after 3 beers. What the fuck? I didn't even get to be drunk. Post Twelve meet hangovers can be some of the worst shit you will ever live through. If some of you younglings think it's bad now, wait until you're mid to late 20's and I've been told it gets exponentially worse as you age.
These days a big night will give me a two day hangover. It's completely fucked. During that two days or at least on the first day I won't even leave the house. I'll be curled into a ball of shame on the couch watching tele-marketing or some Dr Quinn Medicine Women episode howling in agony. And the depression that can go along with these hangovers is probably the worst part, maybe others don't get that, but I sure do.
Now I've been a big advocate of the mass rehydration method for years now. It's the only one that has ever really worked for me. The major cause of the hangover feeling is dehydration so what better way to attack it than smashing loads of water. This is usually fairly successful although it has a few drawbacks.
1: People always underestimate the amount of water required and don't drink enough.
2: It's very difficult to down and keep down over a litre of water when you've already got a gut full of booze and kebab
3: It will wake you up within 4 hours of going to sleep due to the insane need to piss. Either that or you will piss your bed like an incontinent geriatric.
4: You need to down another litre at least during your wakeup call. You will still be drunk during this and it will be just as hard if not harder to keep down than before.
5: This waking to piss and drinking more water cycle prevents you from really getting the sleep you need.
6: You need to remember to do it before you pass out. This is harder the drunker you are.
If you do it right though you should end up coming out pretty darn good compared to what the amount of booze you consumed would usually do to you. Othes have mentioned sports drinks, which is spot on, however the same negatives apply with the added issue of availability and cost.
Recently I was reading about Cholera and it's treatment. For those that don't know this is basically a horrendous case of tap ass so bad you will shit your insides out into a puddle and then keel over and die in that puddle. It's treated by laying the patient on a bed with a hole for the ass so they can shit at will (like they have any control anyway) with a bucket underneath. At the same time the patient is treated with Oral rehydration therapy (ORT). ORT is one of the most significant therapeutic advances of the 20th century. Apparently it took us like 5000 years to realise that shitting so violently for so long kills you through dehydration rather than evil spirits.
ORT involves the replenishment of lost fluids through Diarrhea with Glucose-Electrolyte solutions, sugar and salt mixed with water basically. After seeing a whole bunch of adds for "Hydralyte" on TV recently it dawned on me. This shit can be used to stop hangovers! Not a massive epiphany I know but bear with me.
Your sports drinks are on par in this regard but why do they not work that well? They're not strong enough people! They're made to replenish the fluids lost due from apart an hour of exercise and calculated to replace sweat. They're not designed to deal with Cholera, bali belly or the hangover one would get from 17 hours of scab drinking (taking whatever you can get for free).
Hydralyte is. Well not specifically, but at least it's designed to handle far more fluid loss. And not just hydralyte, you can get these ORT products from a whole bunch of manufacturers. They're marketed to help with travel bugs/diarrhea and maybe even headaches. In the fine print you'll find "may help with excess alcohol consumption". Even their website has a page dedicated to alcohol treatment.
Did It Work?
So naturally I tried this stuff. It worked. I drank on Saturday night. I had a glass of hydralyte which contained two of the dissolving tablets as per instructions before bed and I felt amazing the next day. Day two, today, I'm perfect. Of course I continued a proper diet (a kebab for lunch) and kept my fluid intake up the whole of sunday, but the results were nothing short of phenomenal. Yesterday I was able to visit my parents and go to the shops. All this after drinking from 8pm-330am a mixture of scotch and beer.
I'm yet to see how it works on a hangover caused by zero preventative measures. In other words you forgot to drink any water before bed because you were Jesus and passed out. When it happens I will let you all know, but I dare say I think it will still greatly assist in such a situation.
Everyone needs to have a tube of this shit in their kitchen/handbag it is amazing. There are much stronger ORT products too, but they are harder to get and you need to be careful with these and follow the instructions.
Last edited by Jiminy on Apr 22nd, 2013, 12:13 pm, edited 1 time in total.