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The First Brood Hive: Over 500 pages of Drone Hiving
(There be gems in here. Beware - the ancient site be large and unruly!)

The Second Brood Hive: 198 pages of eternal agony

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Twelvians at work.



Introduction

Firstly, a warm welcome to all the new Twelvians that have recently signed up to join our loving community. This is the Drone Hive, where all employed persons (regardless of their station) are encouraged to share their stories, mundane updates, daily drudgery and other psychobabble from their working life. In this thread, all Drones are recognized as being equal in their sharing of soul shattering stories and tales of torment. It is my hope that this thread will alleviate and soothe the pandemonium that all participants of the rat-race inevitably face every working day.

I urge you to sign up to the drone roster (check the format below) - and join the mindless ranks of crystal-harvesting Drones!

There is pretty much only one rule for this thread: Keep the pictures/links Safe for Work.

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Hive Drone Roster
"Uniting all Twelvian Hive Clusters"


Darkshaunz
of Hive Malazer
Hive Specialization: Brochure & graphic design, proposal drafting, report administration & webmaster.
Actual Title: Senior Operations Executive


Spoon
of Hive Mega Internets
Hive Specialization: Programming and team management.
Actual title: Lead Developer


Fork
of Hive "Fuck I Hate Everyone"
Hive Specialization: Code Monkey and troll extraordinaire
Actual Title: Programmer (iOS Specialist)


Hekate
of Hive (We have a company panda) Press
Hive Specialisation: In your English, fixing your spellings. Also project management of books from manuscript to print.
Actual Title: Managing Editor, Academic & Professional


Hunterbob
of Hive Cusco Systems
Hive Specialisation: Plugging shit into other shit
Actual Title: Lab Administrator (no lab coat though :()


Docilus
of Hive Oh Ess Eff
Hive Specialisation: All tasks complete after thirty minutes, playing computer games for the following eleven hours.
Actual Title: Security Officer


Moradim
of Hive Magna International
Hive Specialisation: Babysitting
Actual Title: Account Manager


Eutoph
of Specialty Gelato Bird Hive
Hive Specialisation: Feeding the world's caffeine addiction, one double shot soy mocha at a time.
Actual Title: Barista/All-rounder/Dishpig/Sexy Man Coffee Server


Jiminy
of Specialty German Diesel powerhouse hive
Hive Specialisation: Looking busy
Actual Title: National electronics training manager.


Tyrionn
of Hive Mountcastle Pty Ltd
Hive Specialisation: Amending the shortcomings of Australia's uneducated.
Actual Title: Assistant to Head of Sales


Cakes
of Hive Green Shirt Fresh Army
Hive Specialisation: Whipcracking King of the Aisle
Actual Title: Night Operations Manager/Captain.


Trangmar
of Hive Government Lackey
Hive Specialisation: Several rotations over the next 10 months - programming, network management, I.T. stuff
Actual Title: I.T. Graduate for the Australian Bureau of Statistics


Bain
of Hive Castle Fortinet
Hive Specialisation: IT Infrastructure Design Architect, enticing people to do what I want.
Actual Title: IT Infrastructure Manager


Vodkangel
of the Fitness World Hive
Hive Specialisation: Helping people achieve their fitness goals and pushing them to & beyond their limits!
Actual Title: Personal Trainer.



Wastey
of Hive Corporate Douche bags
Hive Specialisation: Not giving a fuck
Actual Title: Electrical Instrumentation Technician


Seylana
of Hive Lindt Chocolate Land
Hive Specialisation: Making the world fat and caffeinated with a smile on my face.
Actual Title: Barista/Cafe/Retail Wizard


Azmodai
of Hive 2K Australia
Hive Specialisation: Making games and shit, yo
Actual Title: System Designer


Kkaril
of Hive Make your own fucking lunch
Hive Specialisation: Getting paid to scream and throw things like a spoilt child
Actual Title:Sous Chef


Remedial
of Hive SAS
Hive Specialisation: Helping the governments steal all your informations
Actual Title: Consultant


Alfie
of Hive skyscanner
Hive Specialisation: Creating the tubes that funnel + aggregate flight price data and drinking fine scotch
Actual Title: Database Developer


Salin
of Hive Animal Logic
Hive Specialisation: Deleting all the files
Actual Title: Data Technician


Saro
of Hive Channel 7/Home & Away
Hive Specialisation: I give hot women shit to hold
Actual Title: Assistant Standby Props also Freelance Lighting & Camera)


Stamps
of Hive Mentor Graphics
Hive Specialisation: Staring at a computer screen, head in my hands, wondering how the world functions with people that are so stupid and clueless.
Actual Title: Senior Consultant


Iwen
of Hive Apple Pty Ltd
Hive Specialisation: Develop and build relationships with our channel partners
Actual Title: iOS Area Sales Manager


Kat
of Hive Best Bar Reinforcements
Hive Specialisation: Maths and getting the blame for everything
Actual Title: Scheduler/Rebar Detailer


Ramsta
of Multiple Hospitals
Hive Specialisation: Knowledge & Stuff
Actual Title: Assoc. Professor


Hanlol
of Hive GIO Insurance
Hive Specialisation: Servicing your special needs and enquiries ;)
Actual Title: Sales and Service Consultant


Aethis
of Hive Some Shitty Pub
Hive Specialisation: Fuelling Australia's Gambling Problems and Alcoholism
Actual Title: Bartender/Gaming Assistant


Philondra
of Hive Square-Enix
Hive Specialisation: Browsing Reddit and coming up with interesting names to replace what the devs want to use
Actual Title: Translator/Localizer


Kiral
of Hive Some Online Advertising Company
Hive Specialisation: Creation and optimisation of online advertising campaigns using whatever marketing channels are required.
Actual Title: Digital Marketing Consultant


Tooheys
of Hive Multiple Nailing
Hive Specialisation: Destroying wood and metal stuff
Actual Title: They still haven't told me.…


Jinjitsu
of Hive Financial Synergy
Hive Specialisation: ...I actually don't know yet
Actual Title: Graduate consultant


Willy
of Hive Largest Mining Company on Earth
Hive Specialisation: Applying common sense, developing maintenance strategy from real time monitoring parameters of equipment component health.
Actual Title: Superintendent Engineering - Mobile Equipment


Formatting Code for the Roster
(If you are a new Drone, please reply to this thread using the following code)

[size=130][b]Forum username[/b][/size]
[i]of Hive (Your company name here)[/i]
[b]Hive Specialisation:[/b] (Your day to day job task)
[b]Actual Title:[/b] (Your job title, or what your namecard says you are)
Spoon
Welcome to the new working year, drones and dronettes.

I have returned to a [somehow] non-clusterfuck of issues. Seems things went smoothly (oh god I just jinxed it) whilst we were away and it sure is unpleasant to be back.

How are the working years looking for each of you?

Much on the horizon? My year should be quite interesting with some big company changes on the horizon.
Remedial
Also have a strangely small number of issues over the break, and most of the building is empty with everyone taking the next three days off as well.

This year has a minion starting for me in about 2 weeks, a freind of mine who I recommended which means i'll probably have to work harder to make him look good, but i get monies as a signing bonus if he is good.

For actual work I have about 1 more month of me being at DoHA, followed by being The Architect on a huge project at DHS for the rest of the year. Which is a decent opportunity for bigger more complicated work but means very little travel for the year :(
kiral
I suppose I should fill out the roster.

Kiral
of Hive Some Online Advertising Company
Hive Specialisation: Creation and optimisation of online advertising campaigns using whatever marketing channels are required.
Actual Title: Digital Marketing Consultant
Fork
I was wondering why you were up so early, Spoon.

I'm off work until next Monday, hooray! Still got a lot of work to do on the two non-work apps i've got going on the side though. Will hopefully break it up a bit with some Saints Row 3 and a bit of reading (Book 2 of The Night Angel Trilogy).
Tooheys
I thought I filled out mine before. oh well, here it is then
Tooheys
of Hive Multiple Nailing
Hive Specialisation: Destroying wood and metal stuff
Actual Title: They still haven't told me.…
Darkshaunz
2013 will prove to be a year filled with much work on my side. However, since the new minimum wages ordnance was passed in my government recently - hopefully this means everybody's paycheck will be bumped up to match.

What I am aiming for in 2013 for my career development:

- Bigger paycheck.
- Promotion to Assistant Manager or equivalent.
- Running my own department, no matter how small.
- Hands-on experience trying something new.

If these opportunities can't be accorded to me, I will most likely leave my current job in search of better pastures. Since this is my 4th year working for these guys, I think it's time some doors are optioned out to me. It's time to get aggressive and really push that agenda!
Cakes
Darkshaunz wrote:
2013 will prove to be a year filled with much work on my side. However, since the new minimum wages ordnance was passed in my government recently - hopefully this means everybody's paycheck will be bumped up to match.

What I am aiming for in 2013 for my career development:

- Bigger paycheck.
- Promotion to Assistant Manager or equivalent.
- Running my own department, no matter how small.
- Hands-on experience trying something new.

If these opportunities can't be accorded to me, I will most likely leave my current job in search of better pastures. Since this is my 4th year working for these guys, I think it's time some doors are optioned out to me. It's time to get aggressive and really push that agenda!

Go gettem, Shaunz!!
Spoon
Darkshaunz wrote:
If these opportunities can't be accorded to me, I will most likely leave my current job in search of better pastures.


I hear there are some pretty decent pastures in Australia...
Remedial
sounds like a good plan shaaunz, if they don't give you what you want i hear they have jobs in australia for agressive agenda pushers like yourself


cunt i got the screen saying spoon already said the same thing, but i'm going to say it again anyway
hekate
Greetings fellow hive drones. While it sucks to be back in the hive, it's lovely to begin the year with a shiny new drone hive thread.

The office today feels a little like a library - really empty and quiet. It's good because some of the more bothersome people won't be in until at least next week, which means a few extra days of peace (aside from the bombardment of out of office emails - there's something wrong with something in our emails, and any group office email sends out of office emails to everyone who received the original, not just the sender. My solution - mail rules to reroute them to junk)

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This is just since 10 am -- it's been emptied twice already.

I've spent most of the morning checking the index for a reinforced concrete textbook. The index isn't too bad, but the manuscript has a lot of field code and bookmark errors and defaulting symbols, because I haven't bothered installing an equation editor.
Tooheys
Feel free to send me a copy Hekate as I'll be using something similar this year at uni.
Docilus
Merry New Year to my fellow hive dronians. I worked New Years Day; it was quiet and uneventful. Today not so much. With most staff returning to work, my day has been filled with maintenance requests, contractor obfuscation eschewing and watching fiscal cliff-jumping on television.

How did everyone go with christmas presents? We did a $100 limit Secret Santa (with listed suggestions) thing this year with my girlfriends family, so I go a $100 gift card as expected. Please tell me you guys got something better.
Spoon
Wow that is quite possibly the shittest secret santa present. As the $$$ amount increases, so too should the creativity. Yours seems to have gone backwards.
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