LoginSign up
  1. Twelve Betting Syndicate
    It's time for sporf!

    If we're going to lose money we might as well make it hilarious. Come one, come all for all your sporf tipping and rage.
  2. My understanding so far is that Cailo is the Other Woman in Tex and Jackie's relationship.

    Supporting evidence:

    "Jakyrusso"it is ME that texted Cailo

    Here we see Jackie admitting to being the instigator of the affair.

    "Jakyrusso"Nothing to do with Tex really.

    Tex was not to blame for what happened. Jackie was driven by dark impulses she could not control or comprehend:

    "Jakyrusso"hahaha, sorry I am a dumb

    "cailo-"Recently Jackie told me she was done with hard core

    Jackie tried to end the liason when she discovered she was unable to keep up with Cailo's deviant and often frightening sexual impulses.

    Cailo, however, was having none of it:

    "cailo-"I want to make it perfectly clear: I will not be giving up

    Things took a darker turn...

    "cailo-"I think that people are scared

    Too true, Cailo, too true. We are all discovering a lot of things about you that we never knew.

    For example: the fact that Tex ultimately joined the two of you in your perversions. With their own bodily fluids, the former couple signed a contract that compelled them to act as your sexual slaves:

    "cailo-"Tex and Jackie were great servants

    However, even though their love for each other was renewed, the pair found themselves exhausted by Cailo's relentless demands:

    "cailo-"they were just sick of beating the horse

    At last, they escaped from Cailo's sex dungeon - rising, phoenix-like, from the darkness.

    Some say Cailo is still there. Waiting. To this day, folk sometimes hear strange sounds coming from that place. Unearthly screams. The clanking of chains. Mothers cover their childrens' eyes as pass by, and at night, even the bravest of men walk a little faster.

    For Tex and Jackie, the nightmare is ended. But for how long?

    "cailo-"I will always welcome them back at any time
  3. :) well ..no actually i dont live in a computer :)..apart from my gaming life ..i survived a helicopter crash in 91, a forest fire in 95, and truckload of bomb attack on HSBC bank in Istanbul in 2003 and a mine explosion in northern Iraq while doing my military service in 2006..

    i have moved to China in september 2009 ..december 2009 i was attacked by 7 chinese while leaving a bar with my girlfriend in Qingdao - i was the wrong target, supposed to be another foreigner..survived but almost lost my left eye..

    2010 march i moved to the touristic city of Guilin (the wookie planet `kashyyk` in star wars 3) .. i invested in restaurant business..

    now i have 6 restaurants (last one opened a couple of months ago : https://www.facebook.com/Artistcoffee ) and have been living in peace for 4 years. *knocks on wood*

    i have a chinese girlfriend and she loves me long time.
  4. So I finally arrive home from Toowoomba (what a hole, seriously Hannah, get out of there :D ) and on my doorstep is a nice little slip from the local post office letting me know that a package awaits me. I pondered over the possibilities of things it could be, with secret santa in the back of my mind. Titillating with excitement, I jumped into my car and scurried down the road to see what it could be.

    Now the shape of the package was a bit of a chin scratcher. Light, in a bag, with weird hard bits here and there. It didn't make a noise so shaking it didn't work. There were no names on the outside of the package. Without restraint, I opened it slightly to peek inside, with a few words looking right back at me:

    There and then I knew that this was going to be an interesting and practical gift, however I had to wait until the end of the day to finally unwrap it. And boy was the wait worth it.

    My first reaction was "OMG I hope it fits". I actually said "Oh my God". Whatever God it was, I certainly was about to please it in my new outfit.



    NB: Cane not included

    My only hope now is that I can [spoiler]complete the ensemble with a delicious pair of sexy stilettos and some fishnets![/spoiler]

    Thanks Simon, I will certainly be putting this to good use very soon ;)

    Merry Christmas everybody!
  5. Step 1. Lack sanity and decency.

    Step 2 Acquire Vodka and Gummi Bears. I used half the apple and half the skyy because that's what I had in my cupboard of happiness.

    Step 3 Allow them to socially interact like so...

    Step 4: Place them in a cold dark place, or a cold light place, depending on your personal view as to whether the lights stay on when you close the door.

    Note: At room temperature the alcohol will dissolve the gummis and make something resembling unicorn spew.

    Step 5: Leave to absorb alcohol for 4-5 days.

    Step 6: Repeatedly open fridge door and stare longingly at gummi bears. Shake tub once in a while in the delusion that you are adding value.

    Step 7: Acquire corn flour. Get the gluten free stuff if you are hosting a party, as these are toxic enough without surprise side effects.

    Step 8: Sample slimy sticky gummi bears. Note that they taste like burning death. If they don't then you wussed out on the alcohol content. Pussy!

    Step 8: Apply cornflour liberally to gummi bears.

    Note: Some Gummi bears will look like they are performing inappropriate acts in groups of 2-3. Separate them and give them stern warnings. Possibly include religion.

    Note: You cannot use proper cornflour in the kitchen without looking like an anthrax bomb exploded. Accept it. Accept that everything you wear for the next week will look like you have a cocaine habit. That shit is dire to clean up.

    Step 9: Leave cornflour encased gummis to think about what they have done for a day.

    Note: Try a gummi at this point. The burning taste has been replaced with drymouth beyond imagining. That cornflour is serious stuff...

    Step 10: Dump a handful of gummis into a sieve or equivalent. Beat the crap out of them until most of the cornflour has fallen off. repeat for the rest of the gummis.

    Step 11: Throw Caster sugar over the gummis. Without the caster sugar they still come off a bit dry and lifeless from the cornflour.

    Here's 8 I created earlier!

    As you can see I was unable to save the green and red gummis from unsavoury behaviours and so I don't believe there is place for them in gummi heaven.

    I am not sure what issues it will cause bringing these to a new years party where kids are allowed...